


A Friendly Suggestion

by SonjaJade



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Opposite Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 01:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10451721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaJade/pseuds/SonjaJade
Summary: Riza is sure that if Jean would get laid every once in a while, he would be a lot less uptight about everything…





	

**Author's Note:**

> FMA Fic Contest Prompt: Opposite day

They climbed into the car as soon as Mustang turned to leave.  After all, they had work to get done, and he was such a stickler for getting things in on time.  Lt. Havoc started the car and pulled away from the curb.

“Seems we’ve got our work cut out for us.  We’ll have to be sure that our target doesn’t see us without our disguises on, Lt. Hawkeye.”  He tossed her an irritated glance.  “Remember last time?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” she grumped as she lit a cigarette and unbuttoned her jacket.  “And it wasn’t my fault by the way, I’d just come from a date and forgot to grab my wig!”  She blew smoke out the window as they drove to the rendezvous point to meet the others.  “Let me just say, short of almost having my head blown off, it was worth it to have forgotten that wig.  That man had me so frazzled I wasn’t sure which end was up!”

Havoc rolled his eyes.  “Spare me the details, Lieutenant.  I’d rather focus on the mission rather than reminisce about one of your fly-by-night lovers.”

The blonde woman laughed to herself as the car slowed for a red light.  “Y’know, Jean, if you’d just relax about five centimeters, you’d be a whole lot more fun.  Annnd,” she drawled as she gave him a wink, “I bet if you got laid every once in a while-”

“That is _quite_ enough,” Havoc replied as he drew, cocked, and aimed his gun in one swift motion.

Riza threw her hands up and nearly swallowed her cigarette.  “Shit, Havoc!  Can’tcha take a freakin’ joke!” 

The light turned green, and Havoc had uncocked his pistol, flipped the safety back, and holstered the firearm before he pulled off the line.  “Not right now, not when our mission needs to come first.”

They rode in silence for a bit.  Then suddenly, Riza said, “Hey, if you ever wanted to go some place… someplace you’d rather not go alone…  I’d be happy to accompany ya.  It doesn’t have to be a date or anything, just a friendly type thing.”

Havoc sighed, “Really, everything’s fine.  I appreciate the offer though.”

“I know it’s just you and your cat at that tiny little apartment every night-”

“Yes, it is, and that’s just how I like it.”  He turned down a dark alley and cut through to an apparently empty shipping dock behind a factory.  “I have a glass of wine, some classic literature, and Radio Three playing an operetta, and I’m perfectly content to spend my evenings just like that.”

“It’s gotta be hard going to bed alone though,” Riza shuddered.  “There’s nothing like a warm body to share a bed with.”

He cut the engine and watched as she flipped the smoldering butt of her cigarette onto the concrete.  “You act like I’ve never slept with a woman, Lieutenant.”

“Some of us in the office are sure you haven’t.  Otherwise we’re pretty sure you’d be a lot less serious.”  She pulled her own handgun and released the clip, checking that is was fully loaded before ramming it back home.  “You’re just so…”

“Professional?” he asked, his voice beyond frustrated.  “Come on, we’ve got work to do, can we drop this?”

“Just answer one question for me,” she asked, eyes scanning the perimeter for their contacts.  “Are you a virgin?”

The Lieutenant exhaled with a growl.  “No, I am not.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he replied sarcastically.

“Anyone I know?”

The sound of his gun cocking was all that needed to be said.

After all, he wasn’t about to tell her he’d lost his virginity to their commanding officer when they were both teenagers.


End file.
